Childhood Attachment Trauma
What it is and how could it be affecting your life?
Healing From Trauma
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS ?
THINKING THAT YOUR LIFE DOESN’T HAVE MEANING?
WISHING YOU JUST WOULDN’T WAKE UP?
CAN’T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT DYING?
FEELING LIKE THERE’S NO REASON TO LIVE?
THESE ARE ALL SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. IT’S PARALYZING TO HAVE THEM, AND YOU JUST WANT THEM TO STOP, BUT THEY DON’T.
IF YOU’RE EXPERIENCING ANY OF THIS, PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU’RE NOT ALONE. THESE SYMPTOMS ARE PART OF DEPRESSION, AN ILLNESS THAT IS TREATABLE. IF YOU HAD ASTHMA, WOULD YOU USE AN INHALER TO BREATHE? IF YOU HAVE DEPRESSION, WILL YOU GO TO COUNSELING? THERE IS HOPE. THERE IS HELP. YOU MATTER. YOUR LIFE HAS MEANING. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WANT YOU TO WAKE UP. THERE WILL BE A TIME THAT YOU FEEL LIKE THERE IS A REASON TO LIVE. JUST HOLD ON, AND REACH OUT FOR HELP. I’M HERE FOR YOU.
NATALIE TEETERS, MS TRUE LIFE COUNSELING, TLC, LLC
PLEASE JUST REACH OUT. CALL ( 720) 795-4914 TO TALK.
BREATHE
JUST BREATHE !!
Just Breathe
We’ve all heard that saying before. Maybe we’ve even said it to someone. It holds great truth. Breathing can benefit our mental and physical wellness. It regulates your blood pressure and calms your brain. Taking deep breathes has been proven to give you a feeling of calmness, and taking you out of fight or flight. Counting breaths can tap into the brain’s emotional control regions, giving you more control over your emotions. ( Imagine that !) Even the rhythm of your breathing affects your memory, activating your hippocampus. Last, controlled breathing may even boost the immune system and improve energy metabolism. Therefore, just breathe, it may give you energy, strengthen your memory, lower your bread pressure and help you feel calm.
WANT TO LEARN MORE WAYS TO HEAL AND BECOME HEALTHIER? CALL Natalie Teeters, MS FOR AN INTAKE APPOINTMENT AT ( 720 ) 795-4914.
DEPRESSION.... HOW TO GET OUT OF BED !
Depression…. Get yourself out of Bed !
It’s ok to start slow. When you’re in bed, sit up, prop yourself up with pillows, choose to sit up instead of laying down.
Are you hungry? Does a cup of coffee sounds enticing? Hunger can be a great first motivator to get out of bed, and to give your body some energy.
Wake up to an alarm or music: Sometimes music or an annoying sound can get you out of bed. Try setting an alarm to your favorite song, it might even give you a positive memory on your way out of bed.
Start a routine : Get up and stretch, text a friend, have a cup of coffee outside, notice the people around you going to work.
Shine light ! Get some sunshine on your skin, go outside, allow your body to take in some vitamin D.
Attend counseling: Depression is something that is very treatable. Is it time to get the help you need?
ANXIETY.............
Anxiety…
It is the world, coming fast at me.
I can feel it closing in on me,
My breath is stuck in my throat,
It has struck my skull to numbness
while my heart pounds away in my ears
.
Anxiety could be a friend that cripples you
It sucks your breath and makes you feel
as if you’re drowning.
Your chest tightens
and your hands becomes extremely sweaty.
Life spirals all around you
and you feel you’re going under.
It’s that friend that seeks to take you under.
.Anxiety does not get to control you any longer. You are not alone. It's time to get some help. True Life Counseling, TLC is ready to help you
Fighting the Holiday Blues
What does Anxiety Feel Like ?
Golden Rules for Goal Setting
Do you desire to make some changes in your life?
Are you motivated to be closer to your dreams?
Then it might be time to set goals in your life.
Goal setting helps you gain control over your life, it gives yourself perspective and specific ways to move towards what you want.
There are 5 Golden Rules in Goals Setting.
Motivation: Are you motivated in achieving your goals? If not, maybe it’s not the right goal for you.
How to make Goals that Work:
Specific.
Measurable.
Attainable.
Relevant.
Time Bound.
Make SPECIFIC goals. Each goal needs to be clear and defined. Give yourself specific steps to where you want to go.
MEASURABLE : Include precise amounts, dates, and so on in your goals so you can measure your degree of success.
ATTAINABLE: Set goals that are attainable. If you have no way of attaining your goal, this will only discourage you and erode your confidence. However, you don’t want to make goals that are too easy for you. Find the right balance, a goal that is challenging enough to keep you striving for it, that is worth working towards.
RELEVANT: Set goals that are RELEVANT to the direction that you want to go. If you set numerous goals that are widely scattered and inconsistent, you risk wasting your time.
TIME BOUND: You must set a deadline. This gives you a chance to celebrate when you achieve the goal.
Have fun with it. Enjoy dreaming and making steps to accomplish your dream.
Natalie Teeters, MS, psychotherapist
Posture for Positivity
Positive Popcorn
Stop Negativity
If you could give your child one thing before they start life......
Scenario: You are expecting a child:
Imagine you can give your child one thing before they start life. What would this be?
Lots of Money
Fame
Unlimited Success
High Intelligence
Happiness
Talent in Music
Talent in Athletics
Resilience
Fun
Laughter
Prestige
Courage
Security
Relationship with God
If I had a quarter for every parent who told me they would want their child to be happy, I’d be rich. I hear this all the time in family therapy. I understand that it brings parents joy to see their child happy. It makes us happy to see them happy.
I also hear “ If I could only have more money to give them what they want.” Money, financial security, is something most parents desire for their children. Why is this so? I believe we want our children to be safe and secure. I wonder if parents think money provides this for them. But does it really? Do you know of people who have lots of money, but no joy in life? Have you met someone who may own a beach house, only to covet their neighbor’s home? I do. Money doesn't buy happiness, in fact, it’s joy is fleeting.
Isn’t it a much richer joyful feeling when you see your child/ teen/adult child have strength and courage when dealing with suffering in this world, or when your child/teen/adult child have the ability to make the most out of the beauty that life has to offer. Isn’t it even better to see your child see joy or beauty in the life they are given, even when situations are not particularly beautiful? The saying “ make lemonade out of lemons” What a great example of when you are given a sour situation, find sugar to add to make it more pleasurable.
An example of this would be:
Sour Moment : Your car breaks down, you need a tow.
Add Sugar : You decide to see what positive you have in this moment:
Sugar (Positives) :
You have an ability to talk with the tow truck driver. Maybe you are in this moment for a reason. Your words can be helpful to him.You may help someone else by being kind. You have a free moment to read that article you couldn’t when you were driving. You can send a friend an encouraging text. You can read your devotion today, that you missed. If your child is with you, you have a chance to teach your child how to be strong in strife and be positive in a negative moment.
Lemonade: You turned a negative moment into a purposeful one. You were given lemons, and you made lemonade. You experienced a positive emotion in a negative experience. Overcoming negativity creates positive changes in you !
Last, I have found that clients who believe in a higher power, have greater joy in life. This may be because it gives them a purpose in their lives. This purpose drives them, giving them courage and joy. Also, believing in God, helps them not feel that they are not alone in this world. They find their identity in God, which gives them the power to cancel out any negative believes their past ingrained in them. Believing in God, can create life transformations.
So I ask you again, if you could give your child one thing before they start life, what would it be? Are you doing things in your life to give this thing to them?
Natalie Teeters, MS, psychotherapist
Interested in learning more about this or starting counseling with Natalie Teeters, MS.
Call 720-795-4914.
5 Daily Journal Prompts
Self Love/ Journaling
Self- love is one of the most difficult tasks of women today. Especially is you’ve experienced sexual, verbal or physical abuse. These past traumas have a way of changing our inner dialogue. There is hope. Journaling is a great activity that has proven to transform your inner dialogue and create needed self- love. Journaling is the act of writing your thoughts and feelings down in reflection. The most helpful journaling does not include only complaints, and negativity, but helps you gain insight and reflection into yourself and your life.
Here are 5 Reflective Journal Prompts to help you get started :
What core values, interests, beliefs, personality traits define who you are today? What about when you were younger? What has remained constant?
Which of your core beliefs, traits, or interests did you adopt for the sake of others, and which did you choose for yourself- in other words, who are you when no one is looking?
Think about 3 times in your life when you felt significant joy, peace or sense of accomplishment. What do those experiences have in common? What does that suggest about where to look for your happiness?
Think about the relationships you have with other people, such as friends, family, coworkers. Which relationships feel the easiest? Which ones feel more difficult? Why?
What parts of your past cause you the most embarrassment or pain? How does that relate to the values you named above? Does it confirm or challenge what you believe about yourself?
What have you learned about yourself in these 5 days of journaling? Did you enjoy this exercise? These are great prompts to review in your individual session with your counselor. Interested in individual counseling? Call me at ( 720) 795-4914 to chat about it. * Natalie Teeters, psychotherapist
( http: act/liveyourdream.org)
Overcoming Negative Thinking Patterns
Your thoughts and values determine the way you see yourself and the world around you says cognitive theories. Thoughts and beliefs grounded in pessimism can negatively impact your impact your feelings, emotions, and mental health. These harmful perceptions are common issues that can contribute to the symptoms of mood and anxiety disorders. ( https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-thinking-patterns-and-beliefs-2584084)
Next time you catch yourself in an unhealthy thinking pattern use these 3 techniques to transfigure your brain habits into healthy thinking.
Write, Challenge & Change.
Writing down your negative thoughts get’s them outside of your body. This enables you to look at what you are thinking and challenge, or change it. For example, if you are thinking no one loves you, you are always rejected. Write it down. Then look at your thoughts. Are they actually true? Write down what is more true, and replace the negative thoughts with the truth. Another term for what I’ve described is “ replacing” thoughts. The idea of “replacing” thoughts might sound impossible. This is an incredibly effective way to train your mind. This strategy is rooted in the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches you how to recognize and change negative thoughts and behavior patterns.
CBT is best accomplished with the help of a professional therapist, but here are some steps you can try on your own:
Notice your negative thought patterns and identify how you feel.
Acknowledge that this is a thinking pattern you’d like to change.
Think about what you want to be different (consider writing it down or saying it out loud to yourself for more impact).
Choose to replace negative patterns with a different behavior and/or thought process.
When your thoughts turn negative , write them down & let them go.
Writing your thoughts down, journaling, is a technique that enables you to understand how you are feeling without letting your thoughts control how you feel. Have you ever written a heated email, or letter to someone only to find that once you are completed, you feel you shouldn’t nor do you need to send it. The act of writing your feelings down on paper, allowed you to experience the feelings, and then let them go.
Learn to treat yourself with kindness.
Learn to be a good friend to yourself. Many of us can be kind to other people, but when it comes to ourselves, we are harsh and unaccepting. I’ve seen so many people who are great friends to others, but talk about self in a negative critical way. I challenge you to learn to be a good friend to yourself by doing these 2 things:
Periodically ask yourself is this how I would treat my friends? Should I be treating myself with more kindness right now?
Time it, Note it & Move on. Give yourself a time limit on negativity. Only allow yourself to have negative thoughts of yourself, or comments for a few minutes a day and that’s it. Draw the line there. Move on to more positive thinking.
Last, know you are not alone and you don’t have to do it alone.
I’d love to help you in your process of overcoming negative thinking patterns. At True Life Counseling, I meet you where you are at, and help you explore where you want to be going. Natalie Teeters, MS Psychotherapist
Therapy from the comfort of your home.
How to change your kid in a week
Have a new kid in a week !
Interesting title, huh. Can we change our children’s behavior, the undesirable behavior, in a week? Maybe.
Research shows that there are some skills that parents can use to create positive changes in their children. These skills often also create more peace in their home. Who doesn’t want that?
A study by the University of Toronto found what really matters in parenting. “ A large body of research on attitudes indicates that parental warmth together with reasonable levels of control combine to produce positive child outcomes. “ ( Parents’ Attitudes and Beliefs: Their Impact on Children’s Development, Joan E. Grusec, PhD, Tanya Danyliuk, BA, University of Toronto, Canada, December 2014, Rev. ed.). This finding suggests that it is the manner the parents relate to their children, rather than saying the right words. The warmth and sense of control that parents can provide to their children is paramount. How exactly can parents be warm and provide a sense of control ? Parents do this by listening to their children, working on the relationship they have with their children before focusing on punishing. The most important part of establishing a healthy relationship with your child is using active listening. By listening to your child, you can hear their excitement when they tell you about an upcoming party, you can empathize with them when they share their disappointment in not making the basketball team and you can accept their frustration when their plans do not work out. The skill in active listening is realizing it is “ listening”; not fixing. It can be very freeing to realize that you do not need to “ fix” every problem or situation that your child presents to you, but by actively listening to him/her you are providing the warmth and security that he/she needs. Let’s look at the power in active listening:
- When you Listen to them; you are saying “ You are important to me, what you are saying is important and I am here for you. “
- By Listening to their emotion, you are saying “ What you feel matters, and how you see the world matters. “
- By Not Fixing, but Listening, you are saying “ I believe in you and your ability to make a good decision. “
By Actively Listening, parents are telling their children, “ I’m on your team, I”m behind you, I believe in you,.” Once your child feels like you are on their side, trust is built. It is then that he/she may ask your opinion or advice. Now your suggestions will be accepted with love instead of frustration. You child will have the courage to use your suggestion ( or not ), and the confidence to know there is safety, love and help in you. Your toddler may say “ no “ to you less because he now feels you’ve taken the time to try to understand him. You teen may be more respectful with your rules, your authority since she felt understood by you. Your ten year old may remember to take a deep breath and not yell at you from the other room to help her find her volleyball shirt. Active listening doesn’t solve every problem. What is does do is help create a solid, safe foundation of trust, a good relationship. This may be the added incentive your child needs to not overreact, but try to be better. Try active listening with your child today. Give your child 10 uninterrupted child-lead conversation minutes a day for a week and see what positive changes occur because of it. #ParentingwiththePro’s #TrueLifeBlog, #ActiveListening, #@TrueLifeCounseling, #@NatalieTeetersCounseling,
Natalie Teeters, MS
Want to learn more about this topic?
Dr. Kevin Leman in "Have a New Kid by Friday" - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJWlHywSKA0