How Dad's can Make Mom feel Special on Mother's Day

How Dad’s Can Make Mother’s Day Special

Hey Dads, 

It’s almost Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is a day that you can make your wife feel special and appreciated. It doesn’t take much, just a little effort and planning. It’s super important to help your children  DO SOMETHING. I write those words in BOLD, so that you realize, it’s not about What you do, just THAT YOU DID SOMETHING.

Here are some things that you can do for  the special mom. 

1. Help your children make mothers day cards:

   Take a piece of colored construction paper, fold it and have your child scribble, draw or color away on the paper. Ask your child  “ What’s something you love about mommy? “ “ What’s something you like to do with mom” or “ What do you want to say to mommy? “  Write what they say. You’re Done !!

2.  Take the kids out and Leave Mom at  Home. 

   I’d suggest telling the special mom that you appreciate all that she does ( maybe even name a few things like make meals for us, take good care of us, clean for us ) and offer to give her some peace and quiet by taking the kids to the park for a few hours. 

3. Plan an activity mom would like to do with the family. 

   Some moms would prefer to be with their children on Mother’s Day, but would like to not plan or clean up after doing an activity. Here’s where Dad’s come in. Dads, plan a picnic at a beautiful park, take the family on a hike and pack a lunch, go to a nearby reservoir, pack everything you need and let mom rest before, during and after. 

4. Gift Certificate :

   Give your wife a gift certificate to something she would like to buy for herself, but never does. This could be to get her nails done, hair done or her favorite store. You could probably not go wrong with giving her an amazon gift card so she could purchase something for herself- guilt free.  You could even help your children make “ gift certificates “ for mom. Good for 1 hug, Good for 1 sorry, Good for 1 xtra chore, Good for 1 night free of cooking etc.

5. Make and Clean up a Meal for her.

   Most mom’s do a lot of cooking and cleaning up. It’s a treat to have this done for you. Have your kids join in the fun, especially the clean up, so they can see all the work their mommy puts into feeding them.  Notice that I added clean up after the meal. If you make a meal for her, but she ends up cleaning it up, this could eliminate all the happy feel good feelings that you gave her with the meal, so head up. 

6. Pot with Handprints :

   What mom wouldn’t love a pot with their children’s handprints on it? Dad, this craft will need to be done a few days in advance. Every time your wife looks at this pot, she’ll feel love from all of you and remember how much you care by planning this craft. Here’s a link to complete this.  https://www.pinterest.com/pin/10766486579213901/

7.  Make a Special Family Video Card :

   Dad’s this is super easy. Use your cell phone and record each child saying to their mom what they love about her. You can then play this for your wife with kids around her. She’ll really feel loved. 

8. Wake her with a kiss and let her sleep in.

   Notice it’s Mother's Day. Give her a card that tells her why you think she is a great mom. This will especially be a hit if your wife’ s love language is words of affirmation. 

9. Take Mom Out To Eat. Don’t let your wife cook on her special day.

   Treat her to a meal out. 

10. Pamper Mom Day:

    Why not have the kids and you give mom feet rubs, massage, time to read, and sweet treats to eat with a glass of her favorite beverage. You could let her know that from 10- 12 she cannot lift a finger, and everyone in the house will serve her every need. The kids will have lots of fun with this, maybe you will too. 

Whatever you do will tell your wife that you thought of her and appreciate her.  If you take anything from reading this, take that it doesn’t have to be a huge stressful event to do something for your wife on Mother’s Day. Please, just do something for her. This shows your children how to appreciate their mom and that you appreciate her too. It’s really a win, win situation, isn’t it? 

Natalie Teeters, MS

R is for Repair

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Repair is not fixing what is broken, but rather taking a few steps in a better direction.

A repair attempt in Gottman theory is “ any statement or action - silly or otherwise- that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.  ( John Gottman ) “ Gottman describes the Masters and the Disasters in Marriages. The Masters are the couples who use skills to not have the 4 horsemen in their relationship.  To learn more about the 4 horsemen, you can visit 4 horsemen blog here.

Through Gottman’s 40 years in researching marriages, he found that Repair attempts  are used often and early by the Masters. Repairs are about the couple making rules together. The Gottman library of interventions include a Repair Checklist. This is a list of phrases clustered into different categories that you can turn to as conversations escalate. The list is categorized into I FEEL, SORRY, and GET TO YES.  You and your partner can look at the list and choose which phrases will and won’t work. You can even make one of your own that seem more like your relationship. The idea is to have some phrases that can repair a moment that has gone sour. 

You may purchase the Repair Checklist here.

Learning Repairs and using the Repair Checklist is something I do with couples in counseling. It’s fun to see how couple’s improve their communication, and decrease their fighting with use of the repair checklist and Gottman skills. R is for Repair. Repair your Relationship by getting in on the right path.

Secret Words for lasting relationships

Choosing Code Words can help your relationship get out of a fight, and deal with a difficult situation.

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You and your partner can decide on code words that are fun and meaningful to you. The funnier or more bizarre they are, the more the words may remind you to not take yourself too seriously, as well.

SUGAR CONE ( I am needing some reassurance that you love me & we’re okay. )

Volcano ( Things are getting heated for us in a way that may not be productive. Let’s cool down for a minute & then regroup.)

Niagara ( I’m feeling flooding right now, can we take a 20 minute break so I can calm down.)

When things get heated between you and your partner, it can be difficult to find the right words to communicate.

This is where CODE WORDS can be helpful. There is no need to form complete sentences and thoughts, just use the previously decided upon CODE WORDS in the moment. Your partner will know how you’re feeling, and maybe even share a laugh with you, which could change the mood of the moment as well.

Want to learn more relationship tips? Check out these blogs, or call me for couple’s counseling. Isn’t your relationship worth it?

Pre- Engagement Counseling

Pre- Engagement Counseling.

What is it & Why to Do it.  

Have you heard of Pre- Marital Counseling? Well, Pre-Engagement Counseling is the newest thing for couples, and has shown great success in marriages. It’s a bit like Pre- Marital Counseling in that it uses an assessment that gives you strengths and growths in your current relationship. How it may differ from Pre- Marital Counseling, is that most couples seeking Pre- Marital Counseling have already bought the ring, scheduled the venue and may not want to see warning signs, or overlook rough spots because they are already committed to their partner.  I encourage Pre- Engagement Counseling to couples. It gives couples a great starting off point for their relationship, gives the couple data on their relationship, their partner and encourages what is best for the couple. I use Prepare Enrich . Research has shown the act of taking the Prepare Enrich assessment improves relationship quality and brings increased awareness across multiple aspects of the relationship. Completing this assessment with a certified counselor is the best thing to do for yourself and your relationship.

To Find out more about Pre- Engagement Counseling click here : https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-q-and-a/relationships-and-marriage/pre-engagement-counseling

Questions for Engagement.

Thinking your special someone may be the one? Are you considering making your girlfriend or boyfriend something more? Choosing a mate for life is a big step. It’s important to ask questions of yourself and your partner to see if you are choosing someone with whom you’ll have a successful marriage.

1. How do you feel about spending your life with this person?

2. Are you ready to be married?

3. Is your current partner someone you’d like to wake up to every morning?

4. What would marrying your partner cost you?

5. What do you feel you would need to give up to marry him/her? How do you feel about giving that up?

6. What things are hindering your relationship right now?

7. What does a good marriage look like to you? Is it similar to what your partner desires as well?

8. How do you and your partner spend you time? How will this change with marriage?

9. Do you and your partner share the same faith?

10. Do you and your partner share the same goals and visions for your lives?

11. Do you want children? If so, how many? Does this line up with the desires of children of your partner?

12. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? Does this line up with your parnter’s visions?

    #Relationship Tips, #Engagement Questions, # Engagement Counseling, #Pre- Marital Counseling, # Pre- Engagement Counseling,