Do you believe you have only one Soulmate? Are you destined to only be with that one person? Are you compatible with many people or only one?

These are all great questions. The idea of having a “ soulmate” that completes you is now new. There has been a myriad of findings that should be explored on this topic.

First, research by Dr. Ted Hudson of the University of Texas ran a longitudinal study of married couples who had been married for years. He found that there is no difference in the objective compatibility between the couples who were happy compared to the ones who were unhappy. Dr. Ted Hudson found that couples that are feeling content and warmth in their relationships said that compatibility wasn’t an issue for them. In fact, they were perfectly ok saying that it was them who made the relationship work, not the compatibility of their personalities.

Dr. John Gottman took Hudson’s research every further. Dr. John Gottman, the founder of The Gottman Institute in Seattle, said that measures of personality are incapable of truly predicting the length or success of a relationship. Gottman discovered that couples who focus their energy on building something meaningful together in their life (e.g., starting a business together) tend to last the longest. How a couple interacts is the single, most fundamental aspect to creating a successful relationship. Meaning, it’s not who you are or what you do that will prolong or help you find the perfect mate. It’s how you speak to each other, how well you get along, and how you move through time together. ( Luis Rubén de Borbón,2015 )

If you are on a mission to find your soulmate or someone who you’re most compatible with remember that it is you who makes someone compatible with yourself, not a magic formula or perfect pattern to look for. What is important is to find someone who agrees and supports the dream you have envisioned for your life, who loves you for who you are right now, not who you might grow into being in 5 years.